Ash Wednesday & Valentine's Day

Happy Ash Wednesday and Valentine's Day!

Today is a special day for those seeking love.

Some of you will be given beautifully decorated rose bouquets, others will have the pleasure of receiving tasty chocolates, and a lucky few will enjoy a fancy delicious 5-star dinner. French Laundry anyone?


For the rest of us, this day is no different than yesterday. A usual hump day.


I was curious to hear what dad thought about today. 

Me - "Dad, tell us a story about Valentine's Day. Those long and boring ones that put me to sleep, but I act like I am listening when I'm really not."

Dad - "Sure. We have all day to spend together anyway. You see Linus, I was never the most popular kid on the block. In fact, not even in a .27mi radius."

Me - "You don't need to tell me that. I can see that."


Dad - "Let me continue ok? Being the unpopular kid around the neighborhood led me to believe no one would ever show interest in me and I would live my entire life full of emptiness, a wandering fool looking for love. But boy was I wrong and all that thinking changed in a blink of an eye. A few years ago as I skipped happily to buy breakfast at my favorite restaurant, I must have stepped on a banana peel that caused me to slip and fall. Ouch! Quickly surveying the area around me to make sure no one had seen me fall like a bonehead, I noticed a beautiful girl sprinting towards me at a fast rate. When she arrived at the scene, she looked at me in distress observing I was in pain and immediately offered her helping hand. Initially, I was hesitant to grab on fearing her cooties would permeate inside my body. Of course, the notion that every girl had cooties inherited in their genes was still lingering in my mind from grade school. I realized I was too ignorant to believe this and too weak to get up myself, so I reached for her hand for the extra help. Upon feeling her soft hands(She must have applied some aloe vera that morning) I foolishly concluded, right there and then, I had met the girl of my dreams. Mmmm but was she really the one? Or would time teach me a new lesson and possibly turn my dream into my worst nightmare? Regardless of the million thoughts that clouded my brain, it only took the smell of her seductive scent to formulate crazy thoughts of everlasting love. We got to know each other, and as months went by we were having the time of our lives, establishing a connection at a deeper level. Zen status, you feel me?"

Me - "Ok ok I can sense your vibes. Go on to the juicy stuff!"

Dad - "Fast forward and Valentine's Day was around the corner. I figured this day was my chance to do something special and make her feel like the most important girl in the world, which she was in my eyes. I was someone special for her too. She never cared what her parents thought of me, my skin color, simple favors I asked for, or if I decided to take on glassblowing as a career. My heart was her priority and I hoped she wouldn't shatter it anytime soon."

"Anyhow, I was under pressure and I needed to plan my day accordingly. With speed and velocity I checked the weather to plan what I would wear, fixed the water leak under the faucet to wash my hands, and most importantly, rubbed my neck from the excruciating pain the cheap tequila brought me the night before. What a mistake that was. After watching Telemundo soap operas for non-stop 48hrs, no bathroom breaks and all, I felt comfortable drawing up together my romantic ideas and developed a slick program for the day. I was ready to execute my plan."


"Our Valentine date started with a bang. We lit 26 fireworks to celebrate our 1st Valentine together. Later, we picked up some ice cream to make our hearts content. As the day got shorter, our tummies began to growl so we headed downtown for some exotic dining. The food was OK, but nothing close to the tasty tongue tacos you can buy from the ample amount of food trucks San Jose has to offer. The night got chilly so we bought some Abuelita hot chocolate(the best known to human existence) and headed for a movie right after. A typical American Valentine date; call me lame. At first, It was a challenge as I couldn't get the right swing going. People were so loud and obnoxious everywhere we went that I couldn't focus to string coherent words to express my love to her. As our conversations intensified, my batting average was going up appreciably faster and surprisingly, I was getting into base! Right before the night was almost over, I managed to hit a home run. 1st one of the season. I went on that date feeling like George Costanza and coming out feeling like George Clooney. Like 1st timers, I felt untouchable.

Me - "Dad, wow, so what happened? Why are you still single?"

Dad - "Buddy, over time, things began to tumble instantaneously and her feelings began to seep into the abyss like the faucet leak I once had fixed. I guess a stronger bond would do the trick, right? She no longer appreciated the gentlemanlike features I exhibited. For her, me opening the car door or simple goodnight hugs and kisses were a thing of the past. Within the span of a few weeks, she was cruelly placing me in a category where calamitous characters belonged. With the joining forces from her clan of friends, they consistently called me coward, crook and a cad(Jane Austen anyone?) I was flummoxed her primitive reckless companions drove these wild thoughts into her, making her think so low of me. Where did I take the wrong turn? I always gave her the right away. To end the story short, she put a stop to our relationship. I suppose I could have taken a crash course on the meaning of love. That would have slowed things rapidly.

But it was game over. At least my game was. The twinkle in her eye had vanished into the darkness. I realized her attraction for me was just, that, a sexual desire she desperately needed to fill. She took advantage of my body, but fortunately left my brain intact(Or did she?). Because I failed miserably, thanks to time, this darkness that my soul had ever seen transpired like a butterfly from a cocoon. Beautifully, I now fly solo. 

With all this said, today isn't just about cheesy relationships or buying an over-priced Mocha Java Latte Frappuccino to make her smile. What's not to love about that? It's about all types of relationships too. This day, I encourage you to send some flowers or message a friend, and remind them how much they mean to you.


Me - "Dad, I am so sorry to hear that, but your tiny heart will only get stronger and happier! I know what you mean about them using you for your body. The dam on 5th St. always be cat calling me when I walk to Mi Pueblo. It's pretty obvious she doesn't just want to "chat". I know it's challenging to find the right one but just give it time."


Dad - "Linus, actually, I made the whole thing up :). I was testing you, hoping I wouldn't put you to sleep this time around. Like you, I have no desire to meet anyone and it's least of my concern, but did you like my story though? I thought of you while writing it."

Me - "You thought of me while writing it? Interesting. I'll admit you had me glued to the part where you thought you would live happily ever after...Until you didn't."

Anyway! Off we go to grandmas! I love car rides!


And our project is moving slowly BUT surely.


Until next time!

Sincerely, Linus