Baby Cakes

Hi Friends,

Wow! 2019! Exciting!

My dad finally got back from his mini trip. I have no idea where he went, but he mentioned he had a great time, especially hitting the dance floor. He says he wants to go back, but who knows where that is!


He gave me a small gift as an huge invitation to a new year. Me - “Darn it dad, you messed up recording again! Look how terrible the video looks!”

Dad - “Dang it, I sure messed it up didn’t I? What a bozzo!”


Dad thought it was funny to bully me, but I saw no comedy behind his insesible joke.


Anyhow, bozzo dad brought up the idea of going somewhere for a few weeks to refurbish our great ideas. When he first mentioned it to me, I thought he had a plan set in stone, and a place to relocate for sometime to prepare ourself for an extravaganza. Of course he had no plan and I should have known better because he never plans for anything. I mean, look at his life!

Dad - “Hey Linus, did you pack up? Are you ready to go?”

With a lot of enthusiasm, I growled at him and started licking him with excitement. Little did I know where we were going or for how long, but I was eager to see where we would land this time. It took me 2 minutes to pack. In reality, I only needed my ball and a bone, and I was set! I could have finished packing in less than 10 seconds, but I kept staring at my dads face. What an unassuming face I thought, but ridiculous in every other way.


We began our journey heading North. I was hopped-up! After about an 1hr in the car, I couldn’t tell what direction we were going because visibility was very low, lots of rain, and dad kept distracting me. He kept asking me questions, but I had no interest in talking, even barking. After 30min of ignoring him, I gave in. We began formulating infinite ways to become a better person, and doggie, this year. During my time in the passenger seat, dad and I spoke a little about our past, but fell in love with our future. We spoke of a major component in our discussion, life, while we laughed heartily even amidst the inevitability of death and banality, throughout its colorful ways it throws at us. We discussed useless things like flim-flam men on late night TV informercials, purple grape flavored jolly ranchers, and my favorite number, 6.

It didn’t take long before I had crossed all the T’s and dotted all the I’s in figuring out what would make us happy and fulfilled. We came to an agreement that we needed each other more than ever. It was us against destiny.


During our trip, we slowed down many times, and absorbed every spectacle deliverance nature presented to us. We figured it was the journey, and not the destination that really counted, right? When we would began moving again, at around parade speed, I would realize that the present moment was better than the future. After all, no one is guaranteed the future. Throughout our journey, I was heavily inspired by the vista of every single thing I was able to see. From little baby sea lions to shrimp. Shrimp cake?

Fast forward, till this day, I have no idea where we ended up. We stayed there about a week and headed back to grandmas. Upon arriving back home, I was thumbing through my dads owners manual when it occurred to me that if I wanted to go into the wilderness and explore the unbeaten path, like I always do, I may require a vehicle with more potential. Something more rugged and a personality of a bear.

Possibly? How fitting. I’ll need to convince my dad!


Detour. That night, dad had unleash for the carelessness. While on the trip, we met a lovely gal with the warmest heart I had ever felt. She was a sweetheart to me. Always cared for me, played with me, and fed me. She hypnotized me in a special way, and I couldn’t believe how much power she had over us in just a few hours. I hate to say it, but she tricked me into her lovable ways. I normally don’t show these emotions or fall for anyones pitches, but darn it, this gal sure made me feel special.

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya Angelou

My dad also got bamboozled by her endearing and likable attitude. It was very difficult to see past her wrongs. We were was so blinded by the firework show she displayed from every sweet word that came out of her lips. I could almost taste her grape jolly-rancher, sugary lips.

Night came rolling fast, and I had spent countless hours wondering where dad was. They both had planned to do something that night, but to my surprise, dad was back home early. I could only scratch my head in confusion. But I had to be careful not to scratch hard because my nails in my paws were pretty long.

Me - “Hey dad, what happened? Why are you back so early? Did you take her bowling?”

Dad - “You know, I was driving to the bowling alley, and I saw a shooting star. Immediately, I asked for one thing I’ve always wanted.”

Me - “A shooting star? What did you ask for?”

Dad - “I can’t tell you because then it would never come to fruition. And she was only looking for someone to kiss. Too easy and definitely not our style big guy.”


Dad - “I’ll tell you what though. I got her home safe, just on time, to watch her favorite TV show, Goldiggers. Of course, I still opened the door for her like any gentlemen would, but, disinterested, I stepped on the gas pedal to get back to you as soon as I could.”


Wow. I wonder what dad wished for.

PS - My Instagram Account will be on hold for a few months because…… I am not sure why actually. Maybe cause I pretend I’m too busy? Who knows.

But stay tuned for our next post! I’ll share a secret ingredient to a spicy, flame-y, and good tasty drink. It’s a mixture of tons of stuff that i’ve never heard in my life, but it hasn’t killed me yet! Knock on wood!

Sincerely, Linus.